Weary.

8 Feb

While I am getting better every day, I am weary.  Frankly, I am a little ticked off.  Tired of making my own bread and not being able to eat and serve the normal stuff.  Tired of having to prepare every single thing I eat.  I just want to grab food.  But eating out always makes me feel bad.  And there are no quick foods that are vegan and gluten and corn free.  So today, I am kinda annoyed and weary.

I told a girl I would sub her Pilates this week (3 classes).  That was before I was doing the 6 Weeks to a New You.  Normally, I have 5 classes a week. During this six weeks, I have 7.  This week, I have TEN.  Ridiculous, I know.  A sweet fellow instructor at the JCC just took my early morning class tomorrow for me!  SO thankful for the support I get over there.  So now I am down to 9.  I was hoping to make the money from all 10 because we have a bunch of expenses coming up.  But God will provide.  Always does.

I don’t want to be stupid and make myself sick.  And yesterday, I flipped backwards off of the kids’ plasma car.  Landing flat on my back and whipping my head against the deck.  It was lovely.  Especially since I get my house cleaned and all of those sweet ladies were standing right there to see it happen.  (BTW, I work for 2 reasons: 1)cleaning lady every other week and 2)family camp. Both are expensive and both are paid from my job.  Worth every penny!)  I screamed and we all laughed so hard we felt sick.  I was super embarrassed.  As the night went on, I also started hurting.  Call me crazy, but I swear that as soon as I fell, I felt like a Lupus flare slapped me in the face.  I felt horrible everywhere.  I have no idea if something as silly as that can trigger a flare.  But now I am emotional and in pain and feel sick.  Hence, the sub tomorrow.  And my mood.

Thanks for walking this road with me!  Here is my Facebook status:

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12:8-10)

I NEVER feel stronger than when I am weak.  It is when I truly lean on the Lord and He shows me his goodness that feel Him lifting my burdens.  I am blessed!

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One Response to “Weary.”

  1. Christie February 8, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    Awww…Hang in there Brittany..one day at a time. God will get you through this.

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