The weight is over.

21 Aug

Outta here!  No more!  Never again!

Over the past few weeks, I have measured my progress daily.  I write down everything I eat, as well as my weight, my symptoms, supplements, etc…  Most people can probably accomplish this and thrive.  But not me.  I have a REAL problem with my scale.

I think about it when I wake up and weigh right away.  I weigh a little later before getting in the shower.  I weigh after exercising.  I weigh before going to bed.  Repeat daily.  Excessively.

My measure of success has become what the scale says.

NO MORE!

From here on out, I will keep eating vigilantly.  I will consume no animal products, gluten, corn, oils, or extra salt. I will continue to fall in love with veggies and new ways to prepare them.  I will keep trying combos of foods that go well together and include all sorts of colors and textures.  I will focus on healing my body.  If I lose weight, great.  My pants will let me know.  Same with gaining.  If that happens or I stay right where I am, I will rethink this whole thing and try a new strategy.  I SHOULD lose weight based on my diet.  But I am not going to be able to measure that with a number.

I realized it was unhealthy when I went to eat some fresh mango for a snack but stopped myself b/c my weight was up a pound from the day before.  NOT because I wasn’t really hungry and didn’t need it.  No.  I was hungry!  Simply because of that dang scale.  I would honestly tell everyone my weight right here and now.  It is not something I hide or am ashamed of.  It is what it is.  I am not competitive with others.  I don’t care what you weigh!  But I am intrinsically motivated to a fault.  I push myself beyond where I should and mentally punish myself when I don’t live up.

NO MORE. I am eating plant based, vegan, nutritarian…whatever you want to call it…because I want my body to heal from this disease and I want to reverse damage that has been done.  And I want to be ALL here for my husband and children.  They deserve it!

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