75%

9 Sep

Well, I think I am at 75% now.

The good news: 

-I no longer have problems regulating my body temp.  I can take a shower or do dishes and not die of overheating.

-My hands don’t prune the second I get them wet.  Weird one, right?

-My naps are shorter and less frequent

-My face finally stopped breaking out like a 13 year old.

The things YET to improve:

-Fever

-Overwhelming fatigue

-Hair falling out like crazy

-Fuzzy brain (not just a typical fuzz, my friends.  I always had some of this, but NOTHING like now)

-Sun sensitivity (I can’t be in the sun rays for more than a few seconds before I start feeling like crap.  I know, weird, right?)

-Light sensitivity (I can’t sleep at night because the tiny lights from clocks feel like the lights are on.  I have to sleep with my face covered!  When I wear my mask, Luck says, “Goodnight, bat girl!”)

-Daily stomach aches

-Sleeping problems at night…I toss and turn all night long.

I have a feeling that this is my new normal.  For now at least.  AND I WILL TAKE IT!  It feels great to be able to be at this place.  I have moments of feeling horrible (like this weekend) and moments of feeling okay.  The only times I feel GOOD are the periods directly after I teach class.  For those moments, I feel I am normal.  And those little moments give me hope that I am not gone forever!  Endorphins are my friends!!! And THAT is why I keep exercising!

I guess the Lupus meds are starting to do their job.  In one moment, I can be really excited that I made it to 75%!!!  In another, feel very sad that I only feel 75%.  I could be Pollyanna and tell you that I am SO EXCITED.  But as grateful as I am, I still mourn the old me.  And the times of just living life, not constantly thinking about feeling bad.

Once again, I gotta bring it back to here: It is ONLY Lupus.  I am blessed beyond words by friends and family who care for me and love me just as I am.  Forgetful, confused, hat wearing, clumsy, sleepy, and overall a big mess!  But I am a happy big mess!

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