Oh Crhappy Day!

3 Sep

When you live in the Smith house and you have a crappy day, what do you do?  You make this:

It may not look spectacular….but it WAS!!!  Fresh lemon shrimp scampi.  Unbelievably fresh and good.  Gluten free and fabulous!  Thanks to my sweet mom for bringing the shrimp over to brighten my evening.

I have not really gotten up today, except to make dinner.  It has been a hard day, physically.  I suspect it is b/c Luck traveled this week and I did not take the breaks I was used to.  Either way, it was rotten.  And more and more, people don’t seem to understand why I am not calling them back or showing up to things.  Or maybe I just am insecure that they don’t understand?  This week alone I was a no-show at 2 different things.  I cried a bunch today.  But then Luck got home and we made this dinner and had some of my favorite wine in the world: Ballet of Angels, compliments of Sarah Tenney.  So yummy!  So happy!

On to good news:  My allergist (has been seeing me since i was 18) told me that I am no longer allergic to ANY foods.  He has been telling me what I AM allergic to all of this time.  That is right!  He was not sure if it was the meds I have been on for Lupus or if I “outgrew” them or what….but he said my blood is perfect!  He was kinda speechless.

He said I am still intolerant to foods.  Like corn and wheat.  But the huge thing to me is: my cheating and eating them now and then won’t affect my Lupus!!!!  Yeehaw!  We are still gluten and corn free….but not dairy, eggs, etc….  I think that is a gift from God who knew I needed some good news!

I called my Rheumatologist today for help with why I am still gaining weight and why my brain is stuck in a fog.  I felt like he just completely wrote me off.  I think he is still giving it a few years before he decides the Lupus label is correct.  To him, my organs seem fine, so suck it up.  But to me…how am I supposed to be a wife and mom when i feel this crappy all of the time???

I have been told that the autoimmune journey will 3-4 years to figure out.  I guess I thought I was the exception.  I no longer think that.  Many people suffer for many years feeling alone and crazy before a for sure diagnosis is made.  And before they get help.  Symptoms may pop up and go away. While he still considers me a Lupus patient, we wait.

Today, I just wanted to go away.  I am tired today of being tired.  I am tired of people asking me how I am in hopes that I will say,”Great!” when in reality I want to say that I am crappy.  But I don’t want to be one of “those” people….we all know them.  All they do is complain.  So I just want to hide until this ends.

But then my hubby came home and we made dinner together and are enjoying our kids.  I am off to enjoy them now, too.  I needed a break from them, but think I am ready to see everyone again 😉  Even after a crappy day, I still feel like the most blessed person in the world.

Thanks for caring about me, my sweet readers.


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