Archive | August, 2010

Another one bites the dust…

23 Aug

of my classes, that is.  I am saddened to say that I have had to drop yet another class.  I will no longer be teaching Body Pump on Fridays at 9am.

It is the only way I can continue to school the kiddos part time.  And it is best for my body.

My mind is so stinking confused and cluttered.  I keep saying things wrong and embarrassing myself.  Yesterday in a group I said something and everyone just stared at me blankly.  Then Luck sweetly leaned over and asked if I had accidentally been thinking outloud.  No, the answer was no.  I was actually talking thinking I made sense.  I was baffled that they did not understand me.  We all laughed.  I laughed so hard I cried.  Sorta tears from laughing so hard, sorta tears of embarrassment.

I left the stove on for 3 hours.  The shower on for 1 1/2.  I have fallen going up the stairs, going down the stairs, while walking on flat ground, and everything in between.  I go to feed us and just stare at the pantry.  There is plenty of food in it…I just can’t make decisions.  At Whole Foods the other day, the kids and I stood in one place for 10 minutes.  I could not pick something.  I just needed a little snack.  We just stood in place. Dani kept telling me to just close my eyes and point.  Whatever I pointed at is what I should get.  She is so sweet!!!  What would I do without her???  I drop things, leave things and forget things.  I go to school the kids and just stare at the papers wondering what to do.

The bummer to me teaching less: it may mean no family camp.  We use the $$ I make teaching to pay for that.  I am just leaving it in God’s hands.  If we are supposed to go, it will happen.  But dropping 2 classes in a matter of weeks is certainly not helping.  Especially as the food I eat is now really expensive and I am needing to pay to get the house cleaned more often b/c I just can’t do it.

But I am trusting that this is what we are supposed to do.  Me teaching less =  my family having more of me.  Lets just hope that is not in the “more to love” sense!  Ha!  Come one people….laugh with me!  If I do stupid stuff, just laugh.  If I am not making sense, laugh!  If I am in the middle of teaching class (like tonight) and totally forget what I am doing, laugh.  Otherwise, I will cry!  And we don’t want that now, do we?



22 Aug

Today, we had an uncle in town from California.  We were going to get together for dinner and I was to bring dessert.  My first big challenge!   Could I make something gluten free, corn free, soy free, peanut free, egg free, dairy free AND yummy???

Why, yes!  It is possible!  I present to you:

This, my friends, is a chocolate pie!  And it is delicious.  And check out the ingredient list…absolutely everything in it nourishes you!

Coconut Pie Crust

3/4 cups blanched almond flour

1/4 tsp sea salt

3/4 cups UNSWEETENED, shredded coconut, toasted (just put in toaster until slightly browned)

1/4 cup coconut oil, melted over very low heat

1 Tbl. agave nectar

1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350.

In a large bowl, combine almond flour, salt, and coconut.  In a med bowl, whisk coconut oil, agave, and vanilla.  Add wet ingredients to the almond flour mixture and mix thoroughly.  Press into a deep dish pie pan.  Bake for 7-9 minutes and then let it cool completely before filling.

Chocolate Cream Filling
2 cans coconut milk

pinch sea salt

¼ cup tapioca flour (also called Tapioca starch) or arrowroot

½ cup agave nectar

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

2 cups dark chocolate, coarsely chopped

Bring coconut milk and salt to a boil in a medium pot.  Sift arrowroot powder into the pot, whisk vigorously by hand or with a hand blender for 2 minutes.  Whisk in agave and vanilla.  Remove from heat and let stand for 1 minute.  Add chocolate, stirring vigorously until completely melted.  Chill in refrigerator for ½ hour until cool.

Fill the crust with the chocolate filling and cover and chill for at least an hour.

This recipe came from a cookbook my dear friend, Jillian, gave me.  Jillian also has an autoimmune disease (actually, a few) and the same food allergies as me.  She is a fighter!!  I am proud to call her my friend and I love her dearly.

I did not make it with the crust the author calls for.  I thought the coconut would be a good offset to the creamy chocolate.  It was FABULOUS!  We all loved it!  In fact, if I did not tell you it was not a regular pie, you would never know…it was THAT good!

Please make it and enjoy it, or pass it along to someone who has food allergies.  They will thank you!

(the cookbook is the same as the blog: )

Allergies, allergies, allergies!

18 Aug

I just called my allergist.  I have been tested many times throughout my life.  Each time, they say the same thing, “Your past tests cannot be correct.  I need to re-test you.  Nobody is allergic to EVERYTHING.”  So in different cities with different tests, I have endured the process.  Sometimes through blood work.  Sometimes on the back.  Sometimes on the arms.  One time I was so severely allergic to everything that my arms both swelled so large they looked deformed.  I had to take steroids to get the reaction under control.  That was fun.  They kept calling people in to come and see my reaction.  They had never seen anything like it.

Here is a long story…I put it in indentions if you want to skip it!  🙂

Another time, a few years ago, I started shots up again.  The doc said that they could give me a bunch of shots in one day, but that I would need to stay there for hours so they could monitor me.  This would allow me to more quickly get effects from the shots.

I went in, Luck stayed home with Reid, and I got a boat load of shots.  After several hours, I was doing fine.  So they sent me on my way and just said not to do anything strenuous.  It was a beautiful fall day.  We picked Dani up early from school and headed to the outlet malls to just stroll around.  At one point, Luck had to take a work call.  So I had Reid in the stroller and Dani stayed with him outside.  I was looking at kids clothing when all of the sudden, EVERYTHING itched.  MAD ITCHING.  Like one minute I was normal and one minute I wanted to shave my head b/c it felt like bugs were attacking me. So I pushed Reid’s stroller outside and found Lucky.  I started to feel something I have felt in the past but ignored.  The back of my tongue felt swollen. (anytime that happened in the past I just sucked on ice and hoped it was not an allergic reaction)  So we call my allergist and went in to Pottery Barn Outlet.  My doc told me to just call out loud for Benadryl.  I just started yelling it out.  A kind lady heard me and came to me and gave me one and told me she always carries one for this very reason (I now ALWAYS carry one).  I took two.  My doc told me to head to the ER.  Before doing so, I ran in to Starbucks to get a cup of ice to help the swelling of my tongue.

We got to the ER, but it was taking them too long to see me.  I was on the phone with my allergist the whole time.  He told me to leave there and go to the nearest Walgreens.  They had an epi pen waiting for me.  I ran in, grabbed it, and stabbed myself in the leg.  That was some serious pain!  I also bought more Benadryl and took it.  And kept sucking on ice.  We got in the car and headed back to SA.  On the way (still on the phone with my doc), we look back and Reid was choking on a treat we had bought them to keep them happy during this ordeal.  It was a Yogo.  He could not breath.  So on I-35, we pull over and Luck gets him out of his carseat.  By this point, it dislodged.  We buckle back up, and head back out.  You can imagine my emotions from having a shot of epiniphrine (an upper) and lots of Benadryl (a downer) and considering the circumstances!  Ha!

We get back to north San Antonio and have to pull in to a TX Med Clinic b/c it was happening again.  So I go in and get ANOTHER epinephrine shot.

The doc calls in steroids and I sleep it all off.  What fun, right?

Anywho…back to my real reason for posting!  So I know I have allergies.  I have always had stomach aches and generally felt like crap.  So why change how I eat if nothing seems to help?  So I cut out corn syrup b/c that was the one that I KNEW made me feel bad.  Until a few months ago, I ignored the rest.  Now I am corn and wheat free.  Surely autoimmune diseases can’t be helped by eating things that will make your body react??

Luck has been wanting me to find out from the allergist what all I was allergic to at my most recent test.  For foods….here is the list:

Corn, wheat, soy, peanuts (those 4 we knew) and NOW…..milk, egg whites, and egg  yolks. 

I don’t know how I would/if I should cut them out. My rheumatologist said to cut them out if they make me feel bad.  How am I supposed to know?  I feel bad every day.  I have never had a day in my entire life where I did not have a stomach ache.  

 Hmmmmmmm. What to do?   On one hand it seems stupid to NOT cut them out.  On another hand it seems crazy TO cut them out.  That leaves me with next to nothing to eat!

I don’t even know how to end this post.


11 Aug

Is that a word?  Because that is what I am gonna do.

I am going to give it up.  I spend too much time with and am too drawn to this stupid thing.  I am going to have some hours I am allowed on it.  But that is it.  I won’t read all of the FB updates.  I won’t be up to date on blogs.  And guess what?  I will survive!

I think I have convinced myself that I NEED to know what is happening all around me.  And the cost?  My kids.  I think I probably give more attention to this dumb thing than I do to them.  What kind of messed up priorities do I have?

I went to our parent training yesterday.  I left with my eyes literally rolling in to the back of my head.  I was convinced there was NO way I could co-teach.  They want us READING outloud to our kids and getting them to lay in the grass and study the world around them and do neurodevelopmental exercises with them.  Oh, and do math drills and grammar and history, geography, science, Bible memory, poem memorization, and on and on and on.  What?  How am I supposed to do that?

I know how!  By making them my priority.

So here is to a new leaf.  I will still e-mail of course and will FB.  And keep up with this silly blog. But my time will be drastically less on the computer.  And it will NOT be during homeschool hours.  Mon and Wed mornings are for sure off limits.

If my good hours are in the mornings, those hours will be for them. Our school is so amazing.  I can’t believe the education I get to help give them.  So exciting.

I am grateful that God has convicted me of this.  I am sorry for all of the time I have devoted to a stupid THING.  I want to change and make it right.  And it starts NOW!

Sometimes you feel like a nut….

10 Aug

And when you do, eat one of these.

Almond Joy Candy Bars

My sweet friend, Lisa, posted this recipe on Facebook.  Today, I made them.

Oh.  My.  Goodness.

1 1/3 cups unsweetened coconut flakes (look in bulk bins for this)

1/2 cup coconut oil

1/4 cup honey

1 tsp almond extract

36 almonds

1 cup-ish dark chocolate chips

1 Tbl coconut oil

1) Melt the coconut oil and honey over low heat.  Whisk.  Add the coconut and almond extract and stir.

2) Place 3 almonds in the bottom of each muffin tin (you need a 12 muffin tin).  Divide the coconutty goodness evenly between each tin on top of the almonds.

3) Place in the freezer for 20 – 30 minutes.

4) Meanwhile, place a cup or more choc chips in a microwave safe bowl and add the remaining coconut oil.  Heat until just barely melted.  Stir until the mixture is smooth.

5) Pour the chocolate evenly over the frozen coconut mixture.

6) Put back in the freezer for another 30 minutes.  (cover them and keep them in the freezer b/c they will melt if not frozen)

Seriously, they are easy and ridiculously yummy and so good for you!  Or at least so NOT bad for you!  Thank you, Lisa.  The original recipe can be found here:

However, I do not make my own chocolate 🙂  Feel free to do that.  I just wanted something quick and easy.


I don’t believe it!

9 Aug

No really, I don’t.  I have a problem.  I am just going to come right out and admit it and you may then join the rest of the world in knowing that I am weird.

I don’t believe I have anything medical.  Ever.  I can get the flu and within a few days question my sanity and whether I had it or if I just made it up.

And here is the problem with that:  I often quit taking medication.  When I was young, I did it with my asthma meds.  I do it every so often with my stomach meds.  I even, er, do it with my depression meds.  Yeah…those you REALLY should not mess with.   Granted I only take a half of a small dose every day.  But that half dose makes a world of a difference in my ability to function.  Especially when I stop taking it b/c I never really “needed” it.  Or something like that.

I am going strong on day 4 of my new regimen and guess what?  I almost did not take the stuff.  I actually had myself convinced that I really am just lazy and that the doc really did not think I had Lupus but was scared to tell me that I am crazy.

And there you have it.  Fortunately, my very sane husband told me that no doctor would prescribe medicine for a disease that he did not think I had.  And then I remembered that the thermometer does not lie and blood tests do not lie.  So I will keep taking the stuff.

It is like I am the opposite of a hypochondriac.  Rather than thinking I have everything, I think I have nothing.  Does that make me a hypERchondriac?  Or just weird.  Yeah, I think that might be the bottom line.

Lucky Wins!

6 Aug

Why would I think differently?  He knows me best!  Of course he would win the name-that-blog game!

My ENTIRE life has been one constant theme….”well, what you have is an atypical presentation of ….whatever”!  Allergies.  I am allergic to 100% of the things tested for. However, do I sneeze? No!  Do my eyes water?  No!  I just get tired.  Atypical presentation.  Story of my life.

When the doctor yesterday told me that I do, indeed, have Lupus, but that it was an atypical presentation of the symptoms, Lucky and I looked at each other and smiled.  We knew what the other was thinking.  Of COURSE it is an atypical presentation!  It is ME we are talking about! (side note…the doc felt this is why it took so long to get the diagnosis. Prob the kidney issues would have normally sent us this route…but my other symptoms didn’t line up.  Yep…b/c they are atypical.)

So there you have it.  Atypcial Presentation.  Of symptoms.  Of my point of view.  Of life.  As he so wisely puts it, “Even your weird stuff is weird.”

Thanks, Luck!  You rock.